Sample Parenting Plans – Communication

Effective communication is the foundation of any successful custody plan, ensuring that both parents and children maintain strong relationships and clear understanding. In a custody plan, it’s crucial to establish guidelines for communication between parents and with the child, particularly regarding phone calls and other forms of contact.

Communication between parents

It can be easy to think that a communication plan between parents is not needed if the parents have previously been cordial in their communication. However, breakdowns in the relationship can occur, especially as new partners are introduced.

Items to consider regarding communication between parents in your custody arrangement:

Method of contact between parents

  • Open communication – no limits on how parents contact each other
  • Use of Text/email – limit phone calls and face to face communication to better document decisions and agreements made between the parties. It is harder to misconstrue what was agreed upon when it is in writing
  • Use of a Coparenting App like Our Family Wizard or Talking Parents – Parenting apps can be particularly effective in high conflict situations with third parties involved (Guardian Ad Litem, Parenting Coordinator, Therapists). This is also helpful for those seeking custody modifications.

Frequency of contact between parents

In some situations, it is helpful to explicitly state the frequency of contact between the parents. Language might look like:

  • Parties shall send no more than three emails/texts per day
  • All contact between the parties shall be limited to visitation, educational, medical, and extracurricular decisions.
  • Parties should respond to emails within 24 hours. (Remember, language like this applies to both parties and can become frustrating if the emails are unnecessary or do not involve a question or decision.)

Communication between children and parents

Parents may again consider that nothing needs to be explicitly stated in the agreement about communication between the parent and the child(ren). However, it can be helpful to have limits spelled out to avoid miscommunication and conflict.

Consider the following examples as you develop your parenting plan:

  • Daily phone calls between the non-custodial parents and the child(ren) shall occur by phone between 7-7:30pm and shall last no longer than 30 minutes. Child(ren) should be free to terminate call at any time.
  • Parents shall use Facetime to facilitate contact.
  • Neither parent shall record the calls between the parent and the child(ren).
  • Parents shall be free to communicate with their child(ren) on a device specifically for the child(ren). Device can include Gizmo Watch or personal cell phone of the child.
  • Neither parent shall confiscate a cell phone provided to the child(ren) by the other parent to ensure open communication. Parents should be able to set screen time limits on such devices following the recommendations of the Academy of Pediatrics.

Communication between parents and step-parents

It can be easy to hope for a conflict-free relationship between a new partner and the parent of your children. However, reality does not always match. Thinking through the following examples can be helpful while drafting a parenting plan.

  • To ensure clear communication between the parties and avoid miscommunication, Parents should communicate directly with each other and not through a new partner.
  • Parent’s partner should not initiate emails or texts regarding decision making vested to either parent.
  • While step-parent may attend meetings, decision making shall be explicitly left to the custodial parents.
  • Step parent shall be involved in all medical appointments to ensure consistency between households.